i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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