Im at strip club and am horny
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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