So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
