We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
