just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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