I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
