Buhtt sex?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
