Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
