I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sext me about skeletons
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
