you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
