do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
