So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
