I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
