woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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