I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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