Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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