i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
