remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
