i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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