I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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