I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Semen is not good for contacts.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
