I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
