I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
