Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
