If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
