did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My penis needs a shock collar
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
