this beer tastes like vomit already
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
