Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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