Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
