you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
