Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
