I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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