This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
