so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
