Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
