My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
