Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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