i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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