I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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