saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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