Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
