I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
