Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
