Where is the hickey?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
