We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
