Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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