pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize