i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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