There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
