You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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