I love having hate sex.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
